my sisters under your porch take her home
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
