I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
