I'm really into asian looking animals
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
