So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
