Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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