Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You're like the curious george of whores
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
