Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
