Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
