Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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