i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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