Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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