I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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