My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
