pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
