She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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