Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
