how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
