Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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