bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
