So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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