I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
