There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
