i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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