have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
