So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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