i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
