i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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