strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
