I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we should paint friendship bongs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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