when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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