Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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