Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
