it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
