I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
