Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
