she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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