How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
