I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
