Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
