Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
