I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
