sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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