So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
