I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
