I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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