It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
