Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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