All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
