What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
