It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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