And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
